Creativity

Trying to spend some time figuring out why nobody listens to my music and/or comments on it. One of the major things is that I simply forget to advertise it, but I don't advertise it for the reasons I've discovered/thought about I think. Stuck in an endless ouroboros really.

You Don't Sing

Today's music scene is overwhelmingly singer oriented, they might play instruments as well but they sing, and they're good at it. I don't and I am not. The realms of instrumental music are mostly ignored nowadays, this is fine, times change and all. I've found that people are more willing to listen to music if it has vocals though. There must be something that catches their attention more than instrumentals...

You don't do live stuff

The nature of my music (instrumental synth heavy stuff) is that it's impossible to play live as I am only one girl and can only feasibly play one thing at any one given time. That and like, who's gonna go and watch the weirdo press play on a laptop and stand their awkwardly haha.

You Don't Make Anything Good

This one is a thought I have a lot about anything that I make, be it music, art, or even writing like this. I never see it as good, which is a me problem. BUT when you grow up hearing "if you have nothing good to say don't say anything" and then people say that they'll listen to your stuff and never provide any confirmation that they did or if they liked it... I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from... Genuinely I'd prefer someone telling me it's bad and they didn't like it to hearing nothing?

You have a bad relationship with creativity

I have to be creative it's literally in my nature I cannot fathom not creating something, but something there is so fundamentally broken within myself. I need to create but hate what I make. I crave validation or feedback yet refuse to put it out there. I yearn to do something with it but the thought of making it paralyzes me to the spot and no work gets done.

You Have A Bad Relationship With Creativity

The thing I love yearns to destroy me if I do it or if I don't but it's the difference between a gentle crackle of flame vs a vicious housefire that consumes all and destroys without regard for what. What's that quote?

I hate literally every step in the filmmaking process. The only thing I hate more than making a film is not making a film.

Yeah. I think that's what I mean. Creativity hurts me. But not being creative hurts more. There is no victory in my path, only quiet screaming into the void hoping that somebody hears it or says ANYTHING that can bring me to the surface for even a moment.

I have a bad relationship with creativity.

I Don't Sing

contact me!: luna@soup3461.com

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